Short Funny Quotes and Sayings

1. You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.

2. It is always the best policy to tell the truth, unless of course you are an exceptionally good liar. - Jerome K. Jerome

3. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

4. He met a lady while browsing. She unzipped his dotcom when downloading. Since he was virus free he slotted his floppydisk into her hotmail she screamed yahoo!

5. My wife is going to kill me. But you look like my wife, so that's Ok! - Jay Leno (as he had his arms around Curvaceous cook Nigella Lawson)

6. Blessed is he who can laugh at himself for he shall never cease to be amused.

7. Budget: A method for going broke methodically.

8. Always remember, three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.

9. Did you have Campbell's soup today? (she answers yes/no) Because you're lookin' mmm... mmm... good!

10. One of the surest signs that intelligent life exists in outer space is that none of it has tried to contact us.

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