Short Funny Sayings and Quotes

1. Having one child makes you a parent, having two makes you a referee.

2. Morning news is where they begin with 'Good Morning', and then proceed to tell you why isn't it.

3. It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living.

4. It is better to be beautiful than to be good, but it is better to be good than to be ugly. - Oscar Wilde

5. I've got a... uh... uh... Oh yeah - a photographic memory!

6. 8 qualities of a PERFECT boyfriend... Brave,Intelligent, Gentle,Polite, Energetic, Non-alcoholic, Industrious, Self-organised. In short, B.I.G.P.E.N.I.S.

7. My understanding of women goes only as far as the pleasures. - Michael Caine (Alfie, 1966)

8. I have a good, hearty laugh and an energetic handshake, and those are trump cards. - Albert Camus

9. Bigamy : one husband too many. Monogamy : same thing.

10. Anywhere is walking distance, if you’ve got the time.