Short Funny Quotes and Sayings

1. 80% of the final exam will be based on the one lecture you missed and the one book you didn't read.

2. It is better to stay silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

3. I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

4. He's not dead... he's electroencephalographically challenged.

5. I have the body of a god… Buddha!

6. My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.

7.An expert is a man who tells you a simple thing in a confused way in such a fashion as to make you think the confusion is your own fault.

8. I'm in shape ... round's a shape isn't it?

9. Say what you will about the Ten Commandments, you must always come back to the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them.

10. "inside me, There's a thin women trying to get out........But i can usually shut the cow up with chocolate."

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